I used to think that in order to be happy, you had to have certain things like a big house, or lots of money, or a great job. And, yes, those things are great, but they don't necessarily equal happiness. It is easier for us to create a list of what we want the world to give us than it is to think in terms of what we can give back to the world. It is so backwards in a way, isn't it?
Behavioural scientists have spent a lot of time studying what makes us happy (and what doesn’t). We know happiness can predict health and longevity, and happiness scales can be used to measure social progress and the success of public policies. But happiness isn’t something that just happens to you. It requires conscious effort. Everyone has the power to make small changes in our behaviour, our surroundings, and our relationships that can help set us on course for a happier life. It's really not about the notion that once I become something, or achieve something then I will be happier, although in a way that does make sense. If I get this, then I will be happy. Simple cause and effect. It just doesn't happen that way. In fact, based on what I have been reading, it actually works in the opposite way. The more you raise your happiness levels, the more likely you are to start achieving all those things you want to achieve. Happiness isn't the result of getting other stuff. Happiness comes first, success comes later. This took me a bit of time for that to set in. Albert Schweitzer summed it up perfectly: "Success is not the key to happiness, Happiness is the key to success."
I can already hear some people saying, “but you don’t know me. My life sucks so much and blah blah blah.” One of the best pieces of advice I have learned is to shut the fuck up about your problems. Everyone has them. Life is tough. I've had hardships. I've struggled. Everyone does. It's just part of life. But, focusing on your problems leaves little room for happiness. It creates more negativity. Which makes you only see the negative things around you. It is a vicious circle. You focus on the negative, you see the negative, then all you see is negative. Think about having a bad day. Why is it on those days, does it tend to snowball? You get a flat, you spill your coffee because you are running around, you miss your train/meeting/call, and so on and so on. When you are focusing on the negative, you can't possibly see the positive, and often times it is right in front of you. I'm not saying it's easy. And you don't have to turn your happy face on all the time despite circumstances, but you can train your brain to see the positives more often. And let's be honest, being happy is easier for some people, just like how being thin is easier for some people". Some of us just have to work at it more. Some people can eat three Big Macs, a milkshake and fries in one sitting and they don’t gain an ounce. Other people aren’t so lucky — they take one bite of a piece of cake, and wake up a full dress size bigger. Truth be told, those people can stay thin, but it takes a lot more effort, a lot more work, and a lot more willpower on their part. “You can make yourself happier just like you can make yourself lose weight. But like eating differently and going to the gym faithfully, you have to put in the effort every day. You have to stay with it.”
I'm not saying be oblivious to your reality. Life is tough. We all have struggles and days that beat us down. Allow yourself to be upset, to dwell and woe is me, but do it wholeheartedly and then move on. Don't let it consume you.
Positive psychology research shows us that you can actually reprogram your brain through very simple exercises that are easy and simple to do. Simple, mundane, repetitive tasks done consistently and over a period of time can actually make you happier. I know this sounds crazy but bare with me. There is a science to it. Based on the book "The Slight Edge", it all comes down to 5 simple steps.
Each morning write down three things that you are grateful for. Try not to rewrite the same three things each day, but find three new things you are grateful for. This trains your brain to search for positive examples and circumstances.
Journal for 2 minutes a day about one positive experience you've had over the past 24 hours. Writing down as much detail as you can remember allows your brain to re-experience it which exacerbates the positive impact.
Meditate daily. It doesn't have to be complex, the simple act of stopping, focusing on your breath, for two minutes trains your brain to focus where you want it, distracting you from negativity
Do a random act of kindness over the course of each day. This can be as easy as writing a text to someone thanking them for something they did, holding the door for someone, or simply asking someone how they are.
Exercise for 15 min every day. You don't have to join a fancy gym. The simple act of walking outside has so many benefits to your well-being such as stress reduction, improves circulation, lowers blood pressure, etc.
The simple act of incorporating a few of these things into your life will make it a habit, which will start rewiring your brain and you will be happier on an everyday basis. So simple, yet so impactful. The interesting thing is that you don't have to do all five. Start with one, and keep repeating until it becomes a habit and then add another.
Happiness isn't a sprint. You don't decide to be happy and poof, overnight your life changes. An obese person doesn’t get in shape by running a marathon the next day. They begin by taking small actions day after day after day, improving little by little. A little more veggies; a little less junk food. A little less sitting; a little more walking. And if they stick to this simple plan for a few months, they’ll begin to see change
Now, don't get me wrong, these are not the only things that will contribute to your happiness. The gist is, do simple things consistently, every single day, and in time, you will become a significant happier version of you. A happier version of you will make everything else in your life better too. The secret to happiness is practice. But, the simple act of practicing has a rippling effect. You start feeling better, you reach out and positively affect someone else, and that someone might reach out positively to someone else and so on and so on. Through your practice, you not only impact your life, but those around you. How powerful is that?
paired with accountability. And, it all comes down to you. You are responsible for your own happiness. When you make positivity a daily goal, with manageable steps, you are better able to recognize beauty in both good times and bad, in both peaks and valleys, and we all know that life has plenty of both.
All posts are intended strictly for educational purposes. It is not intended to make any representations or warranties about the outcome of any product/service.
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